Sick of your life on Earth? Looking to shrug off the oppressive chains of gravity? Well, join the club. Most of us who aren’t too busy actively pining for Hogwarts would happily join an alien on a trip to the end of the galaxy. Until that happens, however, IgoUgo members can tide themselves over with the journals of SpiffWrecker7, a Cleveland native who just came back from a tour of Alpha Centauri. For an eloquent take on the finalest of all frontiers, dock your pod with our daring Traveler of the Week.
In Alpha Centauri, a traveler doesn’t get very far without protection. When SpiffWrecker suffered a bumpy landing on the noxious Iodine-4, he patted himself on the back for taking his time to get ready: “Going out there demanded every last ounce of my brilliance. I drew up a list of everything an intrepid explorers needs, from Choco-bombs and towels to spray guns loaded with battery acid.” In large part thanks to his foresight, he conquered the planet, as documented for IgoUgo in a photo from after the landing.
Adversity brings out the best in many travelers, and nothing is quite so adverse as a creature that’s trying to eat you. SpiffWrecker handled the problem with a dosage of deft maneuvering: “Awesomeness gives you the power to get out of jams. When the Gurl monster reared its head, I swerved to the left, just barely escaping its rank and cootie-filled jaws.” And we thought our time at Florida's Gatorland was frightening.
For a tasty hors d’oeuvre of life beyond the heavens, go read SpiffWrecker’s journals. Take it from us -- they’re stupendous.
More Ideas from Spiff
Things to Do in Cleveland
Where to Eat on Mars
Where to Stay in Andromeda
Posted by tdbeckwith (Thomas Beckwith)